Short Story - Shattering the truth into a million pieces

Shine a light on the hidden truth

 

There she was, standing in the very room, at the very spot where she broke her own heart six years prior. Tonight was her debut, her coming out of sorts. Rémi had argued, pleaded and downright begged her to come to New York for her grand introduction. While some artsy societies and sponsors have approached her over the years she had never been tempted to give up her beloved anonymity until her friends flat out refused to keep her identity a secret for any longer. Sophia Butler was a pseudonym, a pen name, a created identity and something she could put under her paintings. She was the celebrated multitalented artist of the high and mighty. And tomorrow all those curious souls would finally have a face to her name.

Putting together the exhibition was a strenuous task even with Rémi, her oldest friend and supporter, by her side. Most of her early works were here – strictly on loan. Sophia Butler had insisted on an unconventional party. Although she was not the person to be caught of guard society queen and self-proclaimed patron of the arts Emilia Gilbert, managed to break through all of her defences. Emilia Gilbert insisted on the ballroom in the Waldorf Astoria on the flower arrangements on the seating chart, on the menu and on the salmon puffs, while Sophia smiled allowing the grand lady to take the lead. Only when it came to decorating the room and the actual presentation of her work however Sophia had put her foot down, doing it her way. Although Mrs. Gilbert’s society friends were appalled by the idea of dressing the entire room in black mourning cloths they conceded. Her work would speak for itself, Sophia had argued. Golden ornaments and lavish paintings would only distract the onlooker. The ceiling fresco was hidden beneath meters of black organza bundled right over the chandelier. In its folds little Christmas lights were hidden – a perfect starry sky. The white linen tablecloth, the flower arrangement of the roses and calla lilies on every single table, contrasted the midnight black colour on walls and ceiling. It was perfect. Yet, here in this afternoon only hours away form her grand entrance Sophia could only feel the strain of perfection. She stood in the middle of the dance floor with a pair of dark blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt, a huge teacup in her hand and comfortable slippers on her feet. In the background people were still setting tables, chairs up, some of her writing would be on display together with the loans. But Sophia, staring at the lustre, had that far away look, her eyes glazing over with the memory that seemed to drown her.

“There you are dear.” Emilia Gilbert appeared by her side, smiling rather broadly at her protégée. “You must allow me to introduce you to the rest of the committee. They are all more than excited to finally meet you.”

“Very well Mrs. Gilbert”, Sophia heard herself say. “I am always looking forward to forming new acquaintances.” That was partially true. Sophia’s smile was fixed on her face. Although it never reached her eyes, her society mask was in place and nothing else mattered to her clients.

Falling into step with her most ardent supporter Sophia heard her say: “Dear, how often do I have to tell you to call me Emilia. We are among friends here.”

“Oh, very well”, another fake smile form her part and Sophia was back in character.

Approaching a group of ten people Sophia’s smile faltered.

“Well, my friends. Here is the genius herself. Sophia Butler”, Emilia’s voice seemed unnaturally loud to her ears. “Darling, you have already met my husband Richard, these are Larissa and Thaddeus Rothschild, Claire and Andrew Morgan, Grace and Alexander Vanderbilt and Sheila and Michael Hamilton.”

Sophia swallowed around the lump forming in her throat as Emilia introduced the last couple. Clenching her jaw she made another attempt to smile: “I am delighted to make your acquaintance, all of you.”

Before they could bombard her with questions or pleasant nothings the voice of a girl interrupted them.

“Grandma, sorry I am late. Traffic was hell”, the newcomer said smiling.

“Don’t be silly. You are not too late. Lia I want you to meet Sophia Butler, the lady of the hour”, Emilia raised one hand gesturing toward the artist in question. The vivacious young woman in fact turned out to be the youngest Gilbert and the pride of her grandparents.

“I admit ever since grandma told me about you being here I wanted to meet you. I am a huge fan. Although I am not that much of an artsy person I can see you are amazing. I admire your writing it’s honest and straightforward, dense … “, she interrupted herself. “Well, I tend to ramble when I am nervous”, Lia said and offered her hand. Sophia slightly taken aback smiled at the young woman. Lia was about her age, Ivy-League student and heiress to a fortune but still comparatively real.

“It is my pleasure. Richard and Emilia speak very highly of you”, Sophia answered accepting her compliments.

“Although I would love to continue talking to all of you I have to get some of the things here straightened out. It’s been a pleasure meeting you all. Lia, I hope to see you tonight you could always tell me more about you journalistic aspirations.” A courteous nod and a tentative smile later Sophia was on her way back to the dance floor not allowing herself to thing about what had transpired focusing on the task at hand.

“All right people”, Sophia addressed the room completely oblivious to the new arrivals. Most of the hotel staff had already fled the scene only her friends who helped get the pieces in order and place and the small congregation of admires at the entrance remained behind. “Before I start pouring praise we still need to put some finer finishing touches to the whole black and white theme, some of the smaller canvases have finally arrived and want to be presented. And to get this show on the road we definitely need some music. Rémi?”, being with friends helped ease the tension. “Oh and before I forget to mention it. Without all of you I would not have made it. I wouldn’t be here at all. This is your day as much as mine. We worked together, we argued amongst each other and today after all the Earl Grey I drowned I can say I am proud to have worked with all of you. You are very welcome to join tonight’s festivities”, prep-talk was never her strong suit but Sophia needed some people around her tonight she genuinely appreciated who understood her work and what it stood for who knew her and her history.

Sophia engrossed in her own world was oblivious to the people staring at the scene. Directing one canvas or poem on paper role after the other to their respective places Sophia barely paid attention to the soft tunes in the background or anything that was not written or painted in oil for that matter. Otherwise she might have realized the very reason for her rather sudden escape form New York half a decade ago entered the ballroom with his bunch of boisterous friends greeting his parents before kissing Lia lightly on the lips.

“Is she everything you expected?”, the former playboy extraordinaire whispered slightly amused in her ear. “And where is Sophia the Great for that matter”, he continued raising his voice a little bit for Emilia Gilbert to hear.

“Oh well Liam dear, she is very busy preparing an exhibition the likes of which the world has not yet seen. But if you must know it’s the girl in jeans and t-shirt right over there”, was Emilia’s polite answer gesturing wildly to the group at the other end of the room.

“To tell you the truth I’ve already talked to her, she seems very nice and open, she even wanted to here about my writing”, Lia answered his first question not noticing the rather absent look in his eyes.

“Wow, it’s definitely been a while since the last time we’ve all been here”, sputtered an Australian voice fixing his absent-minded friend with a fierce glare.

“Yeah, Fitz is right. Hamilton how long has it been?”, added another yet American voice to the conversation. Without taking his eyes off the group, Liam answered rather morosely: “Six years, today. Constantine”

“It’s rather interesting what Sophia has done with the room”, Lia said cheerfully. “I’ve seen pictures of what it looked like before the great re-decoration but this is simply stunning.”

“Yeah Lia, what’s she like? Is she hot?”, continued Fitz his game of 20 questions.

“She is beautiful. But I only spoke like two seconds with her before she disappeared”, Lia answered.

“How is it she could keep her anonymity for that long? I mean even my family has one of her paintings and we bought it like three years ago. Hamilton your father is a newspaper magnate shouldn’t he know anything about her?”, Constantine inquired.

“As far as I know he has tried for years to find out anything about her but she seems a mystery. She came out of nowhere but you have the chance to charm her tonight who knows maybe she’ll tell you her life’s story”, Liam sarcastically quipped at his companion.

“Well I plan on charming my way into her pants tonight”, Fitz boasted.

“Right, is that before or after you convinced her to dye her hair red”, came Lia’s answer.

“I may find myself inclined to make an exception this one time”, Fitz admitted, “after all she is a star who would be better than me to show her what life in the limelight is like.” These overconfident assertions earned the usually drunk Aussi incredulous stares form his friends.

“Well, maybe we should first be polite say hello introduce ourselves, than warn her about the drunken craziness of your friend from down-under and then maybe we can invite her to have lunch with us tomorrow”, Lia addressed her boyfriend with an indulgent smile who was currently gazing across the ballroom back of a seemingly stressed out artist and her French assistant dangling a cup of tea in front of her face.

Snatching the cup from his hands Sophia made comment about feeding her Earl Grey addiction all while turning around to face the room. Taking in the enormity of the event her eyes glazed over as she turned her eyes upward: “Turn on the lights. I want to get a feel of what it looks like.”

“That’s not possible”, Constantine muttered in shock.

“What do you mean Consti?”, Lia said following his rather blatant stare fixed on a certain artist who was completely oblivious to the situation.

“You’ve got to be kidding me”, Fitz added his two pence. Staring form Liam back to the girl in question Lia saw her boyfriend tense as he turned on his heel and marched towards his parents.

“What’s going on?”, Lia all but screamed at Constantine.

“Yeah well, love, that’s what we would like to know”, Fitz commented off-handedly.

“Do you know her?”

“Here comes the Ace-Reporter”, Fitz made a feeble attempt at a joke to gloss over the whole scene but Liam had a different idea of how to get to the bottom of this mystery.

And then everything seemed to happen at once. As Lia still tried to make sense of the situation from the corner of her eye she saw the white porcelain cup shatter on the floor. While the dark liquid left ugly spots on the pristine marble a moment of recognition passed and Lia became aware of the different emotions flitting over the very expressive face of the person behind the society mask. Shock, anger, anguish registered in her eyes as her gaze fell on Liam Hamilton who screamed at the top of his voice addressing both of the elder Hamiltons drawing everyone’s attention to the small gathering at the entrance: “What the fuck is she doing here.”

“Would you calm down”, his mother tried to plead with him looking worriedly around.

“Calm down. Calm down she says”, Liam’s still outraged voice carried through the entire ballroom. “I don’t care whether I am causing a scene. Did you know?”

“No, son I did not know. I was introduced to her as Sophia Butler, mere moments ago”, Michael Hamilton made another attempt to pacify his offspring. “I know it is a difficult situation but it’s been years. We raised you as a gentleman keep your voice down and your emotions in check.”

“I need some fresh air”, Liam said stalking through the French doors his friends on his heels.

Right there in Park Avenue at that very moment Liam Hamilton’s mask of the cool, calm and collected society prince crumbled. Taking a lungful of the fresh September air he heard his friends barging through the glass doors calling out his name.

“No wonder father didn’t get an interview with her. Hearing the name Hamilton must have sent her running in the other direction”, Liam said addressing no on in particular messing his blond hair.

“Mate, stop pacing, breathe. It’s been what, five years?”, Fitz said.

“Six”, Liam corrected him absent-mindedly before fixing his hazel eyes on his Australian companion; “it’s been six years today.”

“I don’t get it. So you know Sophia Butler. What the big deal, Liam?”, Lia asked confused.

“You see Love, we all know her, not as Sophia Butler but as the girl who broke Liam’s heart, right here in this very hotel in the very same ballroom where her life’s work is exhibited today”, Fitz responded evenly. 

It took Lia only a mere moment of understanding: “You were in love with her.” It was not a question.

“She was my first”, Liam chocked out. “But she didn’t break my heart. I broke hers.” Pausing for a moment he looked Lia directly in the eyes: “My family deemed her not fit to be anywhere near me. I met her at boarding school in Germany. She was unlike anyone I’ve ever met. She had a brilliant mind, was beautiful and horribly stubborn, ambitious, hardworking, shy and caring. She didn’t give a damn about my name, my money or my attitude. She was the first person who challenged me as a person not as the rich boy. I honestly thought I could charm my way into her bed just be giving her one winning smile but she wouldn’t give me a time of the day. Hell, the first words she’s ever spoken to me put me in my place. We argued, we fought but somewhere along the way the lines became blurry. Despite hating my guts she was always there when I needed someone.”

At the end of his speech Liam was lost in his memories his eyes became a faraway look.

“What happened?”, Lia wanted to know.

“Well, six years ago the Catherine Hamilton Cancer Research Foundation was born and I was ordered home. I thought with her at my side the evening, my family well the entire stay here in New York would become bearable. We stayed a week and it was hell. The evening of the founder’s ball was the last time I saw her, well until now. My parents sent me to Switzerland an all boys boarding school. That’s the Cliff-Notes version of what happened.”

“How did you break her heart?”

“Well for once I could have stood up against my parents. I could have defended her”, Liam said dejectedly.

“There must be more to it. Come on Liam. Your first love does not just disappear like that. No one just disappears like that”, Lia was livid.

“What do you want me to say. That I took her virginity mere hours before the ball or that she told me she loved me or perhaps that my parents paid her two million dollars just to stay the hell away form me”, Liam’s voice was rising with every word.

“Sorry what! How do you even know that”, Constantine interrupted his tirade.

“She ripped the cheque into pieces right in front of everyone’s eyes. She marched up to my father taking of the diamond necklace and earrings, I had given her, handed them to my mother and took a slip of paper out of her purse, showed it to Michael and made confetti out of it. She said even he didn’t have enough money to buy her. She didn’t entertain any illusions about him all while being perfectly aware that his threats were not idle but despite all of it he would never be able to destroy her, that what truly made her would always remain untouched.”

“That sounds like a hell of a girl, for a sixteen year old”, Lia commented dryly.

“I know you are concerned but I really need some time alone, why don’t you go in or spend the day sightseeing”, Liam said and left his friends standing on the sidewalk. Lost in thought he tried to wrap his mind around the day’s events. She still looked good, Liam decided not wanting to get sidetracked by any feelings towards his former lover he suppressed the mental image that threatened to arise. Again he was asking probably for the hundredth time since he ran out of that ballroom how they got caught up in such a mess. He was a mess, admittedly. On the outside his life was everything society expected. After Sophia, she wasn’t even Sophia back than, took flight he swore to never fall for any girl again convinced she had only used his vulnerability Liam Hamilton became a womanizer and playboy, staging pranks and testing his limits. For a while his life spun out of control and he held her responsible. He had blamed her cowardice, her fickle heart and lack of determination for his darkness. If he had been honest with himself once Liam would have realized long ago that it was his decision to capitulate. She had always encouraged him to think outside the box, to become someone other than the good-for-nothing heir to the Hamilton fortune. He was a rebel without a cause. In less than eight months he would graduate and walk down the path his father had graciously assigned to him. With Lia in the picture everyone expected him to settle down within the next year, have a house, the society equivalent of a white picket fence and a male firstborn on the way. His mother and Emilia had the wedding all but planned out. He loved his Lia. She was a society girl but still had personality something no amount of money could buy. She was one who stood out, unique. Yet his mind was in uproar. He needed a way out, someone to tell him what to do, how to act. He wanted to disappear, to run away and yet he did not even notice when his feet carried him back Park Avenue, back to the Waldorf. He could not quench the longing to see her again, to talk to her and maybe just one more time be the sixteen year old boy again without society obligations who had the whole world at his feet and a future head of him.

The receptionist looked at him quite suspiciously when he asked about where to find the elusive Sophia Butler. Explaining that he was indeed an old friend of her the woman behind the desk caved and gave him the room number. Liam was not really sure what made him take the stairs to the second floor. Maybe he needed time to prepare. He had six years to prepare never once considering that this moment would come. Standing in front of room number 214 he gathered up the shreds of his rather ephemeral courage and knocked softly on the wooden door.

There she was, standing in the door, just as beautiful as he remembered.

“Hello Lily”, he said softly, “are you going to invite me in. Not trusting her own voice she stepped aside motioning him to cross the threshold.

“Please do be seated”; she said following him into the salon. “Can I offer you anything?”

She sat down on the cream coloured chaise lounge situated opposite from him. Maybe she had known this confrontation would be unavoidable. From the moment she had set foot on American soil she knew her fate was sealed.

“An explanation, perhaps. If that is not too much to ask, Sophia”, Liam tasted the bitterness of his blunt remark. His eyes searched her face trying to discern whether his shape tongue had left a mark To Liam she seemed uptight. And for the first time since he had known her he could not read her expression. Anger, irritation maybe but she was closed off, holding a tight reign on her emotions, she wore the mask of a well-versed society lady, elegant, poised and distant. And that bothered him more than he would admit.

“What do you want me to say?”, Sophia countered. She sounded tired. It cost too much energy to uphold the image of the distant cosmopolitan, she was supposed to be.

“I don’t know. It’s been six years. You just disappeared. No one knew anything. Your parents wouldn’t talk to me. Your friends were ready to kill me. I want to know why.”

“I thought I had made myself clear that night”, was her evasive answer.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Lil. You were never afraid of anything. I saw how you stood up against my father and the whole damn crowd of snobs that night”, rage was coming off of him in waves.

“It’s been a long time since anyone called me Lily.” She only leaned forward to pour herself a cup of tea. “Even my friends call me Sophia”, a note of melancholy creeping into her voice. “You have a new life. You are following your father’s and grandfather’s footsteps. I am guessing you are about to get married to what seems like a wonderful girl. We should leave the past buried. There is no need to raise old ghosts”, she answered him with a dispassionate finality in her voice that did not allow any room for an argument. This woman, his Lily, had become a stranger to him. Where was the passionate fighter who would scream and shout at him for caving to his father’s demands? Before he could say anything she cut him off.

“This is all in the past. Nothing we can change anymore. I even promise to behave myself – if that is what you came for. You made your choices, here are the consequences.”

“Fine, I’ll leave it – for now”, he conceded. For a while the room was silent.

“How is your sister?”, Lily asked breaking the silence.

“Here I thought you’d truly despise all of my family. Rora is fine, married and head over heels in love with her husband – Josh”, he supplied.

“Don’t sound so surprised. Aurora was never one to judge me, in spite of your family’s qualms about my upbringing”, now it was upon her to sound offended.

“I remember her calling me all sorts of names, after I let you go. She wouldn’t speak with me for a week and I think, she still holds a grudge against me”, he responded and silence fell again both lost in their memories.

They were on the dance floor and the band played ‘As time goes by’. In each other’s arms they slowly swayed to the music ignorant of the world around them caught up in their own blissful version of reality. Lying safely in his arms she had whispered those three magical words only mere hours before they had to get ready for the great evening event. She had given him her body and soul before everything came crashing down. Liam had held her close, not wanting to lose contact. He had fallen hard and fast, outright disobeying his father’s wishes. That night he had promised her the world. They did not fight. She had not caught him cheating. The former playboy had been faithful. They loved each other but that night she had realized that love was not enough.

“I loved you”, Liam murmured softly crossing the room in two strides making his way toward her.

“I know”, her voice barely audible. Smiling he pulled Lily into his arms, needing to be close to her, even for only a moment.

“For how long are you in town”, Liam asked sliding away from her.

“Just for this week. Flight is scheduled on Friday. I hope by then everything is back in order and my personal possessions are back on their way to Europe”, she had to mentally shake herself to form the appropriate words. “You see we should have no problem to avoid each other.”

“None whatsoever”, Liam agreed standing up to leave the room. “I shall see you tonight. And congratulations, I am really proud of you”, he said, his voice pressed, without turning around.

They had parted; he needed to get ready put his society mask in place, the smoking with the crisp white shirt and shiny hand-made Italian dress shoes, the Rolex watch he got from his grandfather – a birthday present. It was his armour. He prepared for battle. Certainly those fancy clothes and accessories were not made for comfort. Even Lia had chosen a beautiful burgundy dress that accentuated her beautiful figure. A collier of rubies and diamonds complemented her slender neck and Liam had to admit his girlfriend looked beautiful, especially tonight. They had already circled the room once, tasted the expensive champagne and managed to pull off the perfect couple in front of anyone important. They were dressed to impress. While the power couple set out for another round through the ballroom, the first speaker took his place on a small podium.

“Ladies and gentleman, honourable guests, friends”, he began, his slight accent denounced him as a Frenchman, “we have come together to celebrate the achievements of an extraordinary woman. A woman, an artist, a writer, a genius who despite her young age has reached the lofty heights of fame for years she refused adamantly to step into the limelight, surrounding herself with mystery and old-wives tales. She remained a riddle cloaked into a mystery wrapped up in a conundrum, even to people who are honoured to be called her friends. What you find assembled today is the work of someone who worked hard on herself, her art who fought for her convictions even if that meant fighting an uphill battle. Never once did she bow to conventions. Not once did she settle for the easy way if it meant to sell her very soul, her art, her life’s work to the highest bidder. Sophia Butler shines tonight not because of the impressive display you all can see here but because of her integrity as an artist, as a friend and source of inspiration. Sophia Butler will shine on because her soul remains intact.” There was a dramatic pause after Rémi’s heartfelt words for his friend: “And now please give the woman in question a warm welcome, for she dares to step out to face the harsh light of the day.” The small figure of Sophia Butler stepped up to her friend, a bisou on his cheek and hushed words of gratitude were exchanged before the cleared her throat:  “For those who don’t know my dear friend, assistant and most critical admirer, Rémi Dumont, he has a fancy for big words and a preference for the melodramatic. Nonetheless his words ring true. In the end I had to give in, come out of my hiding and show my face to the world. I have always tried to give my work meaning, to be honest with what I do. Yet Sophia Butler failed miserably. Long nights have I pondered about what to tell you. Hiding form the world did not make my art honest, it turned me into a coward. Tonight I stand before you not as Sophia Butler but as Lily O’Conner the person who lies beyond the mask. And while I am partially terrified to see my face in tomorrow’s newspaper I feel the need to thank all of you who are here tonight who supported me through all the dark days who celebrated every huddle and obstacle that was taken. My dear friends you are the true stars of tonight without you I would not stand up an be strong, without you I would not be able to face tomorrow, you are my guideposts, my source of inspiration, my safe haven. Let us celebrate not my achievements but the love for art, for music, for poetry in short for culture. Let tonight become a night worth remembering for the years to come. Here is to culture, here is to love”, Sophia said raising her champagne flute toasting to an applauding audience. Slowly she made her way back to her table covering her eyes with her hand she let the applause, the congratulations all the high praise and admiration wash over her. Half a decade worth of struggles came all crashing down as the band began to play ‘As time goes Bye.’